Gratitude list: Lately

On Wednesday night, my colleague Rebecca texted me.  "Hey, tomorrow bring your camera," she said, "We can be the designated photographers."

We were having a farewell for a friend the next day and we were eager to capture as many moments as possible.  It turned out to be a lot of fun.  I've never cooperatively shot with someone else before but we ran around together pretending to be from a photography company, ordering our friends around (some of them were more than happy to comply) and saying things like, "Yes, yes, this is my second shooter.".

Games aside, I learned a lot watching Rebecca.  She's been taking photos for a lot longer than I have and has a great eye.  

We were interested in slightly different moments and different angles, and that was why our batches of photos turned out slightly different in a good way.  We have the same Canon body, so we could easily compare what we were doing.

After the party ("it's the hotel looobby"... sorry, going a bit R. Kelly on you there), Rebecca told me she had had fun taking pictures with me and I wholeheartedly agreed.  It's nice to find someone who enjoys doing the same thing and running around and taking pictures and comparing techniques and learning new things (I only found out what a light leak was yesterday).  I love that she is non-judgemental and doesn't tell me how things should be done, like some photography enthusiasts that I've met.  Rather, she's open to discussion and learning and looking at things from different points of view.  

I'm editing the photos from that party now but in the interim, here are some random things that I'm grateful for.

Someone brought my parents a crate of the juiciest yellow peaches.

A visit from a good friend.

Snowskin mooncakes with sea-salt black sesame (!) and champagne truffle (!!) filling.  I got them from the moon cake expo thing at the Ngee Ann City Atrium.  Amanda and I took a special trip to town and spent the afternoon eating our weight in mooncake samples.  It's criminal that this is a once a year thing.

An awesome orange-themed bracelet that my mother made for me.

My parents just got back from their trip to Canada where they were visiting spawn number three.  I was adamant that they not buy me anything because my room is full to bursting, but my mother stopped by the dollar store and couldn't resist getting me this washi-tapealike.  I have to say, I'm loving it.  Imagine that, one (Canadian) dollar!

PS  I tried to make them say "69" in the bottom picture but the backs of the dispensers showed.  Oh, life!

Gratitude list: Technicolour dream

1)  Notebook from Malaysia

S and E got me this very cool notepad from a recent trip across the Causeway.  We were teaching about Aurangzeb and his empire in class that week and this was the perfect reminder (we do that a lot at work, make inside jokes and send each other articles about the topic of the week).  It's so pretty that I haven't been able to bring myself to use it, but if I ever do and finish the paper inside, I might get the cover framed or put it up on the wall. 

2)  This ridiculous box of nerds

A student brought them to class and I just had to take a picture.  There were even separate slots to dispense each flavour!  He said they tasted pretty foul and offered me the lot, but I really just wanted to enjoy the colours.

3)  Washi tape!

Amanda is probably smirking at my washi tape collection, but I love it anyway.  I went from being a washi skeptic to fully embracing it and just looking at this plastic pot of tape on my table makes me smile.  I've promised myself: no more new rolls until I've used up some of the tape here. 

I have to admit though, JM's growing collection (solid colours!  Moustaches!) is making it quite difficult for me to resist. 

Gratitude list: Impromptu

So I haven't been writing weekly gratitude lists for a while, not because I don't have anything to give thanks for but because there are so many things that they often turn into entire posts unto themselves. 

I'll still do the lists when I can though, like this impromptu one on a ten minute break from work. 

1) Bird farting rainbows necklace.

My friend Becky gave me this necklace over a year ago (in fact she sent it to me in the mail while I was in the UK) and I just love it.  I don't wear it very often because I'm a klutz and I want to avoid fraying the ribbons, but every time I do, I get a ton of excited compliments.  

How could you look at this and not feel happy?

2)  Crystal deodorant 

I know this is a slightly odd (and possibly awkward) choice but Amanda introduced me to this deodorant at Sasa the other day and I really love it.  For about $4, you get a stick of something that looks like a mineral rock and has no scent whatsoever.  I apply it with a little bit of water and although it does allow you to sweat, I have had absolutely no odour problems, even when I'm exercising.

The fact that it doesn't clash with my perfume and that I no longer have to contend with oddly murky cucumber or lemon scents works well for me right now.  It prickles a little on broken skin, but apart from that, I definitely plan to repurchase this.  Avoid dropping it on the floor though, if you get it, I hear it shatters into sharp little smithereens.

(I cannot attest to its pharmaceutical safety or whatever.  I'm pretty sure anything that claims to neutralise the bacteria on your skin is going to raise some alarms somewhere, but aerosols are no better, so.)

3)  My Filofax and sticky notes from Daiso

It is ridiculous how much I love my Filofax.  I think I've finally found an organiser format that really works for me and since it's stationery related, I plan to go on and on about it in a separate post at some point. 

For now, I just thought I'd share these sweet post its that I bought at Daiso earlier today.  At 400 stickies for $2, you can't go far wrong, even if the glue is not 3M worthy.  I love how the blue and pink complement the violet faux leather and I can see myself using them to decorate diary entries as well. 

And now, back to work.  There is no rest for the wicked, and I haven't been behaving.

Gratitude list

1)  Starbucks earrings from Shirin

I'm not even going to go into how tough it was for these earrings to get to my house (owing to a snafu in which I may or may not have misquoted my address the first time) but when they finally did get here, I loved them, right down to the little green straws!  Who knew people even made these? 

They are such a sweet, thoughful present from Shirin and they fit my personality to a T.  I'm very embarrassed now to say that the first day I wore them, one earring fell off.  I don't even know how I managed that and I was furious at myself, but I'm determined to replace it so that I will have a complete set again.  I'm so sorry, Shirin, but thank you, they are awesome.

Etsy, here I come!

2)  A cute drawing from a student

Thank you Nic!  (And Eli!)

3)   Washi tape

The day that Amanda and I hit Kinokuniya, she introduced me to washi tape.  If you aren't already on Pinterest, Washi tape is the new in thing among bloggers and scrapbookers of all creeds.  It's essentially masking tape with beautiful prints on it and apart from being used to hold things together, it works really well as decoration.

I bought some patterned blue tape strips and one roll of gaily striped tape and I've been using them in notebooks and to liven up my journal.  I hate to admit it, but I love washi!  You can write or draw on it like you can normal masking tape and because it's a little translucent, you can even paste it over artwork.  As you can see, I like using it in my journal (the paper is not patchy, I just wanted to blur the showthrough).

Unfortunately, this means I've become one of those annoying fartsy hipsters who can't leave a page without smacking some tape and drawing bunting on it.

Oh well.  At least it's pleasing to the eye!  And if you're looking for a quick, easy way to make things look cooler with minimal artistic talent, well...

(Washi tape and stickers from Art Friend and NBC, both in Ngee Ann City.)

Gratitude list

1)  Cute costume jewellery

When I was a child I was a hopeless tomboy and my mother lived each day in hope that she would have a girly girl to dress up one day.  Now that I'm finally interested in sparkly things, she keeps bringing little tidbits home for me.

One of my favourites of late is this pair of faux pearl and crystal wreath studs.  They are subtle and light enough for work but look glamorous and catch just enough light.

2)  Thank god for work

We get lots of stickers to use as incentives for the younger children and for a time, the office gave us these "index seals".  The kids don't like them (after all, who wants to mark the pages of textbooks they never read?) and so I have leftovers that I've finally found the perfect use for - as markers in my own notebooks!

3)  Wai Kit

My beloved just came back from what seems like an incredible holiday in Japan - he was just in time for the sakura, ya'll - and brought everyone in the office a chic minimalist coaster and a Japanese wafer cigar.  

Love letters after Chinese New Year?  Yes please!

Gratitude list

I know, I know, the timetable of this weekly gratitude list is a little out of control.  I can't help it when I have other random photos to share!  Nonetheless, all the things on my lists still bring me lots of joy.  This week, these three small pleasures are floating my boat (snort!).

1)

When I first started working as a tuition teacher, I realised that teaching made me thirsty really quickly.  I always bring a transparent plastic cup of water to class and thoughtlessly put it under the whiteboard.  Each time I wipe the board, tiny specks of marker flake collect in the water.  I'm not ashamed to say that I occasionally drink the marker water in the middle of class because I'm so damn parched.

David was appalled when I related this to him and as a belated birthday present, he gave me a flask from Starbucks!  My favourite thing about this flask apart from how it keeps my regular iced latte cold (and fifty cents cheaper!) is how you can draw on the metal cannister inside with dry erase marker.  That's David's mascot, a violent Cantonese panda called Fak Fak!

2)

I really enjoyed using up my Bath and Body Works Carried Away body lotion and finally finished the warm, raspberry-scented dregs this week.  I have a couple more bottles that I really want to dig into and since I use moisturiser like a madwoman, it shouldn't be too long.

Compared to the Victoria's Secret body lotions, these have a similarly silky formulation and the smells are equally delicious.  What I like a little more about them, however, is the fact that the bottle is actually transparent and you can see how much product there is left.  This way, I avoid wasting any extra drips.

3)

And as of last night, midnight cheese toast with Amanda!

Gratitude list: Notes

Sometimes a beautiful note from a good friend is all you need to pick you up out the gloom.

1)  Like this postcard that both Shirin and Edie wrote me

Apart from the incredible aesthetics (I didn't realise for a moment that the dog was a sticker and wondered how he had come to represent Richard Harris), the messages are sweet and so heartfelt.

S inspired me, writing, "Sorry that you still have bad days, but I hope that they get increasingly rarer and that in the meantime, they serve as kindling for your art.", and E made me tear with, "I hope that when you wrestle with your memories, you will not begrudge your former self.  She had great strength too." 

2)  Or this one all the way from Wei-Yuen

Isn't that illustration just perfect?

3)  Or even an unexpected midnight note from Dawn which said:

"If you ever tumble back in the valley, shout. I'll come get you."

My friends are just the best and I don't know where I'd be without them.  I hope to honour our bond by being there for them in return.  Thank you.

Gratitude list: Day by day

If you're out there and you're sad, and wondering why this is taking longer than you thought it would, you're not an anomaly.

I'm working on it.  I really am.  But things are sometimes harder than ever.  I have moments where I feel like I'm almost out of the valley, I can forget all the days we'd spent together, how close we used to be, how much I trusted him.  There are times when I think, yes, the only person you can lean on is yourself, and I'm almost used to it.  Almost.

It all comes crashing down in the stupidest moments; a text from a mutual friend asking if I can make my way back to London.  The launch of a friend's book we spent hours reading together.  An email from a school colleague to say he'll be in town in two weeks.  

And I think, I know I shouldn't think it, but I think: why keep reminding me of the one that got away?  Then I'm furious, furious for even considering bestowing that title on someone who kicked me around when I was at my most vulnerable, who once held me and whispered, "I promise I will take care of you.  Will you take care of me?" and asked me if I felt safe so that in that short moment, I did.

All these people from our shared past who can't see me, who only guess my feelings from texts and emails riddled with cheerful exclamation marks think I'm okay.  Selfishly, I want to shout at them, "I'm not!  Why can't you possibly guess that and leave me alone?" and curl up and cry and cry until it just doesn't hurt anymore.

So I stop. 

I take a deep breath. 

I pull myself back, because it's not their fault.  It's not their fault that I sometimes want to appear stoic and it's not their fault that I still want their friendship even if it means being reminded of the connection I once had with him.  

I think of the people I have here.  I think of how many times they've had my back and I feel ashamed of myself. 

And I remind myself that we all have our trials and tribulations and we are, many of us, just pushing through, just living day by day.  I look at the clock, and today's almost over.  Tomorrow it all starts again, but that will be over too.  And so on, and so on, putting one foot in front of the other, I'm helped out by small daily moments of cheer that remind me that by and by, I'll walk my way back home.

1)  Cheese on toast 

 

I'm partial to smoked cheese of any kind and the simple act of melting it on toast and enjoying it with a hot cup of tea can make my morning.  Even better, since I told my father about the smoked cheese preference, he started keeping the larder regularly stocked with it.

2) The excellent office pantry

There's even a wishlist nearby that we can fill up with suggestions.  My poison?  Wasabi prawn crackers.  Sweetest pantry ever.

3)  And what really makes me smile: preparing some love to send to friends.

Gratitude list: Fun

Life has been full of fun little moments lately and I truly relish them.  Every time I feel a little down or drained, I spend time with friends or recharging and I automatically start to feel better.  Even short ten minute interludes help.

Maybe right now it's all about facing life that way - just taking things a day at a time, and stopping for breath occasionally.  Anyroad, resting in the here and now stops me from thinking too far into the murky future.  That's just what I need. 

1)  Brunch with Edie and Shirin

We decided to meet at Wild Honey for brunch (my favourite meal of the day) and Shirin and I entertained ourselves by serendipitously turning up in the same colour.

The first time I went to Wild Honey, I was not amused by the stack of Canadian pancakes.  Since then, I've ordered nothing but eggs benedict (either Norwegian or European style) and I'm always delighted with my choice.

Edie started off by ignoring me in favour of her Candy Crush obsession.

Then she took my portrait...

... before we spent a long moment staring at the phallic glass chandelier outside.  (I'm pretty sure it's a Dale Chihuly and also that a resident of Sentosa Cove has a similar glass sculpture spilling from the façade of his house.)

Eventually, we went a little bit crazy running around outside and trying to take pictures looking like abstract statues.  None of those (slightly sexual) poses made the cut, but I loved the pictures Edie took of Shirin and me.

More than once, we've been mistaken for sisters.  Occasionally, we are even mistaken for each other.  We've considered dressing in each others' clothes and teaching each others' classes just for the fun of it.

And finally, a couple of details from Shirin's outfit that day.  I really enjoy Shirin's fashion sense.  She wears clothes that are both classic and chic - shirtdresses, slouchy knit tops, slim-cut cigarette pants - and dresses them up with quirky and surprising accessories.  In San Francisco, my favourite thing that she wore was an oversized cowl with a tougher looking biker jacket.

2)  Amanda and Snowy

We have two rabbits in our office that sort of act as mascots.  Sometimes, they hang out in our section of the staff room and so we get to play with them.  Snowy, the older and more sedate of the two, will sit quietly in anybody's lap and give off occasional wafts of white fluff.  Amanda and I love animals, so we spent a little time cuddling with Snowy.

And of course, because we can never let anything be, we also decided to pretend we were making a pet food advertisement.  I'll let you be the judges.

I know, it's award winning stuff.

3)  Breakfast

Of course, there are times when a quiet breakfast is the best medicine.  Just give me some hot noodles, cold coffee and a good book and I'm all set, thanks. 

Gratitude list

A very quick list of things I'm loving and am really thankful for right now, just before I take off on a trip for Becky's wedding!

1)  Scarf from Justin.

Such a cool cat print and I love the colour in its eyes!  I also love the fact that when it's ruched up, the scarf looks like something basic and abstract.  Thank you, Justin!

2) Chocomania shower gel from The Body Shop

I used this at my friend's house and was struck by just how rich and decadent it smelled.  Chocolate body wash is not to everybody's taste and I think it'll probably be cloying first thing in the morning.  Right before I go to bed however?  Delicious and very comforting. 

(The Body Shop appears to be having a $14.90 for two offer on its shower gels right now!)

3)  Getting to attend Becky's wedding.

She is one of my best friends and I'm so happy to be able to share in her joy and her special day.  Plus, who doesn't like weddings?  All that love in one room!  I'm really excited to be the bridesmaid... and I hope I don't screw up!