Love songs in age

I've spent part of the evening so far doing lazy colouring in front of The West Wing with my family.  I bought a bunch of Taro Gomi books several years ago, and I finally cracked open the Squiggles one and took my Derwent pencils for a walk.  The texture of the paper is actually much nicer and easier to work with in this one.

Before that, in the afternoon, I finally got round to tidying up my jewellery drawer and opening a box of my things that my mother had put away when I left for the United Kingdom two years ago. For some reason, when I left, my parents decided that the only logical thing to do with my room was to empty all my cupboards and put my things away into storage.  I was horrified to come home and find even my underwear drawer empty.

It took me awhile to get down to this not because I was feeling lazy, but because I knew that there were lots of things in there that would bring back memories, and I guess I was nervous about feeling nostalgic.  I cracked it in the end anyway and found lots of things that made me smile and made me sad.  But, I thought the time had come. 

An incredibly painted wallet - a present from an ex, a beautiful bone box that I bought when I was in India and a ribbon belt that I used to wear.

A very cool ring from the Metropolitan Museum of Art shop.  My mother gave it to me some time ago but its just a little tight for some fingers and a little loose for others, so I may let her start wearing it again.

This one made me smile a lot.  I was the biggest tomboy growing up and when I did well on an exam and my parents asked me what I wanted, I begged for the fattest Swiss Army knife that money could buy.  I was so proud of this that I carried it in my pocket to school every day, never mind the weight, and spent recesses showing off the edge on the saw.  The parts are a little rusty, but it looks like it would still work just fine.

I used to carry this on planes in my backpack when I travelled.  Can you imagine?  This is how terrorism has changed the world.

Some special jewellery.  One of the nicest pairs of earrings anyone has ever bought me from an ex-boyfriend (they look JUST like chandeliers and glitter like anything).  He carried them home from Bangkok in his pocket to stop them from being crushed, and I was really touched.

The slipper from Cinderella, the musical, which my mom and I watched together.  In a soft-hearted moment, she bought it for me and it came with this cute little box which I use for storing rings.

And a tiny enamelled Perllini star pendant.  Priya, if you're reading this, do you remember it?  As undergraduate students, we were coerced into organising a big dinner and dance for some faculty staff and it was an annoying process for which we weren't given any credit while some of the staff members spent the evening in a proverbial circle jerk.  Even though we chose the theme, booked the band and the gifts, organised the itinerary and emcees and ran the programme, we were ultimately little students behind the scenes and no one hesitated to treat us that way.

When everyone had left and the banquet hall was being cleared, the team leader presented us with the star pendants and a motivational speech.  Every time I look at mine, I want to laugh ironically.

More special items - beaded jewellery my mother made when she was young, a silver shell necklace from Mel and pendants from my family.  When my brothers were little, they loved getting me tiny Perllini pendants for birthdays and I cherished them all.  Gotta love the hanging monkey and the elephant.

The rose necklace belongs to my mom and as I child I loved its vintage look.

Special cufflinks my father bought in the 70s from Mohenjo-Daro.  My father is a very impulsive man and goes through periods of his life where he throws things away, only to long for them afterwards.  In our house, the best present is sometimes one he thought he lost.  Many years ago I saved these from the rubbish heap and they moved with us from house to house.  Just last week, he started talking about the archaeological site and he mentioned these cufflinks and wondered where they were.  I found them today.

Once, long ago, I almost gave them away to someone who I knew would love them, but the look on my father's face when I presented them made me glad that I hadn't.

A Lion King pendant from my mother back from when the movie first came out.

I also did some organising, including washing out some old body butter containers and cutting my ear studs into strips for storage inside.  I love the cupcakes and aliens!

All in, it was a very strange and slightly sad afternoon.  On the one hand, I have a much neater jewellery drawer now.  On the other, I stumbled across many things I would rather not have touched.

There was a whole bag of things in the box that I had kept from an old love of mine - letters, mementos, little statuettes, things we had bought for each other, beautiful pieces of coral from a beach holiday.  I once had them all on some shelves by my bed - a shrine to us that I saw first thing when I woke up in the morning, last thing when I lay down to sleep.  That relationship - abusive and obssessive - lasted nearly five years.  I threw the whole bag away.

Sometimes I think there is no use in being sentimental.  I like looking at things from my parents because I know they will always feel the same way about me.  But is there any good in coming across artifacts of shattered hopes and lost dreams? 

I don't know.  But I'm glad I'm done with that box now.  One less thing skulking under my bed, waiting for me.  There are still some other boxes and drawers to deal with.  I don't have the heart right now.  One day though, when I'm able to look back on this and laugh, I'll sit down by myself and do the same thing that I did today.

As the rain fell outside and the house slumbered through a grey afternoon, I discarded things from people who had once loved me.