Saturday, May 31, 2014

My travel journal


My colleague Rebecca and I have been planning our trip to Europe since last year.  One day, we were lolling around on the office couch (working, obviously) when we realised that we had photography, a love for coffee and wanderlust in common.  And so, after slogging for seven months without a break, I'm finally off on a month-long adventure with her!

As much as I love my current Muji spiral-bound dot grid journal, I felt like this holiday deserved its own book and so I've pulled out one that I've been dying to use since my colleagues got it for me for my birthday last year: A leather-bound Kikki K travel journal!


While I don't normally like travel journals that are fussy and full of maps and random forms that I have no interest in filling in, this one suits me perfectly.  It's full of blank, lined and gridded pages so that I can draw and write whatever I please, but also contains cute quotes and doodles.  

Instead of forms, there are a couple of pages with prompts such as "describe your day on a plate" and "what are your surroundings right now" which I find very charming.  And of course, a back pocket filled with stickers never hurts!


I'm trying to pack very lightly for a month so I'm not bringing my laptop and probably won't be blogging (though I might queue a couple of posts).  I hope to be back though, with stories to tell and pictures to show.

The stories, at least, I can now record obsessively.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Revolution 19


Sometimes, I think that until I can listen to this song without feeling any pain, any sadness, anything at all, my karmic debt to the Universe remains unpaid.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Tulipmania 2014 Part 1: In miniature


Since we got a family pass to Gardens by the Bay last year, my brother (practically a professional photographer) has been wanting to go down and shoot the flowers.  A couple of weeks ago, Tulipmania presented a great opportunity and one Saturday afternoon, he asked if I wanted to join him.  

We sought respite from the heat in the pleasantly chilly glass domes and while HS shot on film, I brought my 35mm workhorse and his macro extensions - little black plastic rings that can turn your lenses into macro ones by introducing some distance between the camera body and the glass.

I took wider shots obviously, but I also really enjoyed the different perspectives the macro extensions gave me.  I could get right up close to a flower and see the delicate filaments of its stamen or the soft, mint green burrs on the edges of succulents.  It was an entirely different world from the sweep of glowing tulips or the harried weekend throng.  Through the macro lens, the rest of the world falls away, falls silent.


I'm free to focus on the perfect symmetry of cactus spines or the heavy yellow-gold crush of pollen in the heart of a flower.


Occasionally, I pulled out to look at the bigger picture, like here with the sole bloom on the edge of a succulent.  I never realised how these plants reproduced.  Colour buds in the middle of them, startling in its vitality.


Standing there with my nose in the flowers brought to mind my favourite haiku.  Oddly enough, it's by Dean Koontz:

"Whiskers of the cat,
 Webbed toes on my swimming dog;
 God is in details."
                              -- The Book of Counted Sorrows

Friday, May 9, 2014

On y va!


Every morning before French class, we greet each other with cheerful "bonjour"s and "ca va"s.  There are about twenty of us, surprisingly close in age but from completely different backgrounds, united by a single purpose.  

There are those who are married to Frenchmen and want to be able to communicate with their in-laws, two girls who are going to France in September to study pastry making, a young sommelier, and Edie and I, there because we think it's beautiful.  And it is beautiful.  Really tough, but beautiful.

Every time I encounter frustration in conjugating verbs or trying to remember the appropriate article for masculine or feminine objects, I learn something that submerges the frustration in awe.  Today, it was the moment we were taught that a "lucky draw" is called a "tirage au sort".  Literally translated, it means "pull your fate".  Last night, Shirin, who is extremely fluent, told us that "I miss you" is "Tu me manques".  The order of the words is different from the English (You, to me, are missing) she said, because that it means that you are missing from me, thereby implying that I am incomplete. 

And that's more or less why I've always wanted to learn this language.  Because it sounds pretty, but it means pretty too.  Sure, it's confusing that everything has a gender, but it's also whimsical and poetic that, for example, the sea is a woman and happiness a man.  

On top of that, apart from English and Mandarin, which I absorbed when I was too young to remember it, this is the first time I'm formally learning a language from scratch.  As an English tutor, it's fascinating.  I've always wondered how people would teach someone a language that they didn't know at all.  And I've never been so aware (or respectful) of grammar before.  

Mostly, I'm just happy to be a student again.  A teacher needs to be on the ball; in complete control of every aspect of the lesson and watching everyone out of the corner of each eye.  In this class, I just need to be a massive sponge.  I can write notes with my own unintelligible musings, pronounce things to myself as many times as I want, turn things over in my head again and again. 

Edie and I have lots of fun practicing random verbs and senseless questions.  After class, we wander round separately, speaking French in our heads.  As I was walking the dog today, I had an entire conversation with myself about a writing instrument.  

"Where is the pen?  He has the pen.  Do you have a pen?  Yes, I have a pen.  What is this?  It is a pen.  But where is the pen?  She has the pen.  Does she have the pen?  No, I have the pen."

Then, I turned my attention to singing.  

"Do you sing?  Yes, I sing.  Where do you sing?" and so on.

I love it.

I look forward to class every day.  For some people, it seems like a meeting point of their hopes and plans.  For others, a celebration of the ability to speak, read, understand, dream.


...And also, on a more shallow note, I get to use my amazeballs new Smiggle crayon highlighters.  Why didn't I have these growing up so my stupid leftie writing wouldn't keep smearing fluorescent yellow and green up to my elbows?

Now if only I could do something about the teensy right-handed writing desks they have in class...

Sunday, May 4, 2014

One down

I have always wanted to learn French.  

When I was a child, I thought it sounded beautiful and when I was older I ended up meeting a bunch of French people when I went on exchange.  They taught me a smattering of charming but utterly useless french phrases (I love icecream!  I don't like octopodes!  I will not sleep with you unless you have a condom!  What?  Every girl needs to know how to respond to "Voulez vous coucher avec moi?") and I vowed that one day, I would properly complete my education.

Finally, thanks to Edie who signed up first, I'm going to be taking a one month French crash course starting tomorrow!  It'll hopefully come in handy for the trip I'm taking to Europe in June; maybe I'll be a little more proficient at reading menus and asking directions than last time.  

Now that it's the night before, I'm all hopped up on adrenaline.  I feel like it's my first day at school!  And I'm so happy to be fulfilling an old dream at last!


My students told me that Typo was having a discount on a pack of five French-themed exercise books and in celebration (any excuse!) I headed down yesterday and grabbed a pack.  For $8 something, I got five A4-sized Minnie Mouse/ Parisian notebooks for class.

Retno loves Minnie Mouse, so I'm giving her a couple.

Hopefully the rest of them will soon be full of notes... en français!

Now I just have to learn salsa dancing and farming and I'm set for life.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Yarn party

A few weeks ago,  Shirin showed me a Substation flyer calling for knitting volunteers.  My first reaction was to be completely gobsmacked.  For serious?  Since when does anyone in Singapore ever do anything like this?

Once I investigated the cause though, I was thoroughly excited and signed up for two sessions, the first of which was today.  

Basically, a group of knitters is planning to "yarn bomb" the Substation pillars with an art installation come September and since they need a grand 50 kilos of worsted to do it, they decided to call for reinforcements.

I wondered if it was going to be silent and dreary with nothing but the sound of staid clicking, but figured that there was only one way to find out.

This afternoon, I packed a couple of needles in my tote and set off for the Substation at 2pm.  I was briefly confounded by a group of rockers gathering in the foyer and stood next to them, shuffling from foot to foot and wondering how they had picked up knitting until I realised that the yarn party room was on the second floor.  (The last couple of times I set foot in the Substation, it was for metal gigs, so I suppose I assumed everyone there naturally looked that funky.)

I found my way upstairs and was set to work immediately, at a table with five other delightful ladies of varying ages (and yes, they were just as funky as the scene kids).

We were basically told to go crazy and do whatever we wanted in any colour, any pattern, any shape and any size, which was freeing.  In short, it was so.  Much.  Fun.

The radio was blasting, and there were cookies and drinks.  

Everywhere I turned, I saw someone doing something new from a woman who cast on using a chain stitch, to one lady who made beautiful purple and blue loops of yarn using her wrists as needles, to a young man who made a lacy half-fichu type thing that put us all to shame.

It was like being in a village and doing crafts together and the very experienced older ladies were so kind and patient with the beginners like myself.  (My mother pointed out that to do any kind of sewing or fabric-making, you have to be fairly stoic and calm.)

The lady on my right taught me two easy new patterns that I'm dying to try, and the woman on my left, who was wearing a beautifully crocheted hairclip and kept proclaiming that she'd been knitting since "Nineteen seventy two!", showed us how to do a basic cable.

We kept laughing and joking about where to buy yarn and all the various things we'd made and everyone very shyly and graciously passed round photos of their work.  Even though I was only doing very simple knitting and purling, I felt completely at ease.  Everyone showed everyone how to do various things that they knew and even the simplest tricks were received without any exasperation or condescension. 

At about four, a reporter from the local news channel came by to do a piece for television and we were greatly amused to see the cameramen waving at bottles of needles and shouting, "Take the stick!  Take the stick!"

My table ended up exchanging numbers and some of us will be coming back for the next Saturday session.  Holy cow, it sounds nerdy, but I can't wait.

In the meantime, here's the big square I finished for the art piece today - a purple and yellow pattern with strips of stockinette, garter stitch and yarnovers.


Tuesday, April 22, 2014

While on holiday in Japan, I kept a detailed series of notes in honour of Nanowrimo.  All posts about Japan comprise excerpts from my journals. 

9th November 2013, Saturday


"... It's happening.  It's actually happening.  We are getting into Tsukiji Fish Market's tuna auction.

Where I work, we went through a week long series of lessons where we showed our students the documentary Jiro Dreams of Sushi.  It's a beautiful film and we were all transfixed.  But while everyone oohed and aahed at the gleaming slivers of fish that Jiro put on the table, I was most excited by the tuna auction.  The first time I watched that segment, I sat up straight with great interest and told my students afterwards, "Look, look how they cart the fish out with hooks?  And see what he's going there, putting a bit of a dance into his auctioneering?"

I've been dreaming of coming to the tuna auction for a long time.  When I first told my mother, she stared at me like I was crazy and said that we would have to wait in the cold from 2am and that there were huge snaking lines and a limited number of tickets that would probably run out.  Then, she saw the look on my face and said, "Well, if you really want to go, I'll come with you."  My mother FTW!

So here we are, having had some very patchy sleep at 8pm, rousing ourselves now at 1:30am, a time when I'm normally just nodding off.  But I am wired as hell, changing my lenses, checking my SD card, wrapping up in layers of Uniqlo Heattech.  My mother is grumpy but resolute.

The story goes like this.  Tsukiji Fish Market (and Wholesale Centre) was built decades ago but since it's gained notoriety, the market has gotten so crowded that the ageing infrastructure can't really handle the throngs of new visitors, so much so that the market will be dismantled in a couple of years.  The tuna auction in particular, started bringing in so many people that it disrupted business and authorities put a cap on the number of visitors and limited viewing to two measly twenty minute time slots from a specified "visitor observation area".

As such, even though the visitor registration officially opens at 5am, people start queuing for the first-come-first-serve privilege from as early as three or four.  Because it's a Saturday and our only chance, my mother is making us queue at two.  Go big or go home, am I right?

We wrap up warmly, drink some hot water and go down to get specific instructions from the hotel concierge.  Because we're staying in Ginza, Tsukiji is just a fifteen minute walk away.  The concierge, a smiling young man, gives us a map then studies us in our bundled up state and hides his smile.  "This time of the night, you are very..." he presses his lips together, "safe.  You will definitely get tickets."  He must think we are overeager schmucks.

We start walking down Harumi Street, looking for a way into the market.  My mother and I are not queuers.  We've never, in a typical Singaporean fashion, queued for anything.  So, when we show up at the fabulously-named Fish Information Centre (I have a mental image of people coming to enquire about missing fish) and realise that we're the only ones here, the first in line, we are disbelieving.  

"Don't worry," says the amused Fish Information Guard, "just wait here," and goes back inside where one of his companions is actually snoozing.


It's so early that people are still straggling out of bars clinging to each other.  One woman sings loudly, waving her arms as her older partner grabs and shushes her.  Japanese salarymen are still cycling home, briefcases in their bicycle baskets.  One man, the beer rolling off him in waves, stops his bike and comes over in surprise to ask us what we're doing.  "Maguro!" he roars in delight at the absurdity of it and mimes chopping the head off a fish.


The market, however, is just awakening.  It's already packed with trucks rumbling merchandise in and out of the warehouses and nifty little forklifts with spinning lights that curl deftly round corners.

My mother hunkers down by the wall to get some shut eye and I read the rules mapped out on a board.  The tuna auction is serious business and the authorities try to make it seem like they'll throw you out at the slightest provocation so that visitors are well-behaved.  The signboard reads, "No sandals.  No pets.  No smoking.  No food and drink.  No making signals like raising your hand above your head.  Be careful not to slip and fall.  No big bags.  No flash photography."


A note somewhere suggests that at one time, flash photography briefly blinded the auctioneers, causing them to miss important bids, a thought that sends me off into fits of laughter.  I briefly contemplate leaping into the fray and bidding on a massive tuna but I remember reading somewhere that the most expensive one sold for thousands of dollars, so I decide against it.

At three, the next batch of queuers arrives: a couple from San Francisco.  "Wow", the man says when we tell him what time we started.  He is impressed by our dedication.  Maybe we are good Singaporeans after all.  

At three thirty, the line has built up to about thirty people.  There is only room for ninety more.  It's getting cold and a bit draughty.  The Fish Information Guard sees us hopping around to keep warm and decides to open registration.  They open a holding room and beckon us inside.  Each visitor is given a map, a list of rules and a neon yellow visitors' vest.  We get ushered to the front of the room and the places starts to fill up until it spills over into the second batch of visitors who are wearing green vests.  It's only 3:40am and the first slot opens at 5:25am.


My mother stares at me in dismay, as if realising her folly for the first time.  But hah! Too late!  We are in!  We all hold on to our dignity for about ten minutes, everyone insisting they will stand, but start collapsing to the ground one by one till everyone is in a sleep deprived heap on the floor.  People lean on each other; some even try to curl up on the floor and get shut eye.  An hour in, one of the Americans works out how to open some air vents, sending cool air wafting over all 120 of us.  The room gives him an ovation.  Every now and then, the guards come in and glare sharply at us.


It's like being in a refugee camp except that in this camp, I have the luxury of whiling the time away by reading five chapters of The Shadow of the Wind on Kindle (excellent so far!).  Finally, finally it's 5:15am and people start to struggle to their feet, stretching and shaking out cramps.

I am suddenly wide awake, filled with adrenaline, realising I only have about twenty minutes to get photos.  Just be calm and look alive, I tell myself, and don't beat yourself up for what you shoot or miss.  I only have one plan - to try and get close to the floor.

At 5:25am, the guards unlock the doors, unpenning us and scowling as we spill out of the room.  All the rules and glaring have worked because we file, meek as sheep, across the market.  Work is in full swing here, the air replete with the swinging and ringing of bicycles and the little fish transporting buggies.  The workers don't care about stupid visitors who've come to gawk at them - they just want to get their fish in chop chop - and we are almost run over several times.

We finally cross all the roads, start walking past the warehouses and through one door, I glimpse the pale, fat bodies of frozen tuna and let out a squeal.  (Other girls squeal at Chanel, I squeal at... fish.)  We are guided into one warehouse, into a makeshift observation area that is essentially a walkway in between two segments of the auction, cordoned off by crates.  The visitors, silent and obedient, spread out along the walkway.  We are careful to keep our hands to ourselves.  Being among the shorter people, I shimmy to the front of the crowd and make myself as small as possible.


The men (this is a solely single sex arena here) walk around laughing and chatting as if it were a pub, except that the floor is lined with rows of frozen solid, gape-mouthed tuna (and what look like four massive fresh ones in the corner).


Each of them holds an iron rod with a hook on the end and a powerful flashlight.  I wonder if they sell them tuna approved.  They walk round the tuna, examining it from each angle.  There is a slit cut in each belly and a flap of flesh cut close to the tail that folds back like a hinge.

All the tuna tails and fins have been hacked off (to save space, I assume) and I can see the great ring at the base of the backbone that is a cross section of its spine and the circles of fat that surround it.


The men bend and lift the tail flaps, shining the light on the flesh, and then prod at it with their hooks.  If they seem satisfied, they make quite a brutal hack into the frozen meat, pull out a piece and squeeze it between their fingers as they check it under the light.  One elderly man keeps digging his hook into the tail and attempting to lift the fish on one end for no apparent reason. 


After about fifteen minutes of this, one group of auctioneers grabs hold of wooden pallets, climbs on top of them and starts ringing a bell.

The bell ringing starts slowly then gets more and more quick until it is a frenzied jingling in the air.  From where I am standing, I can only see one guy clearly.  And when the bell-ringing reaches its peak, he dampens it abruptly, sweeps his baseball cap off his head and bows and starts auctioning.  

The three auctioneers going at once have deeply individual rhythms and patterns and they each seem to have a signature style.  My guy shouts three times in rapid succession, flashing his palm between each shout and then shoots his hand up in the air before repeating the process.  In front of him, four assistants note the bids rapidly, which is confusing to me because I barely see any bidding.  Occasionally, one of the men milling about the floor disinterestedly raises a hand or makes vague air quotes, but I don't see a whole lot of frenzied fighting.


Obviously I'm missing something because when the bidding ends, men walk about slapping "bought" labels on each fish with water, which will stick them onto the iced over skin.


Then there is a hurry to cart the fish off before the next auction; the wholesalers dig their hooks into the tuna and simply drag them across the floor which probably has no effect on their rock hard flesh.  Some use the hooks as holds on either end of the tuna and swing entire carcasses up onto carts which they pull away like rickshaws.


We are unceremoniously shuffled off the floor along with the fish although now that we have adhered to every rule and proven ourselves worthy visitors, the pretence at sternness is abandoned.  The guards cheerfully lead us away from the warehouses, take our neon vests and dismiss us with smiles.


In reality, nothing much as happened but I'm humming with energy and delight because of what I've just witnessed.  The air is somehow colder than when we got here and shivering, my mother and I duck into the nearest sushi joint and order a beautifully fresh platter of sashimi and ikura don.  The place, a tiny, cramped family restaurant, is already packed at six a.m. with customers having morning sushi and beer.


A man from Yokohama chats with us and kindly asks if he can take our picture, so we oblige and talk a little bit with him.  He's been to Singapore, he says, and "looooves" the chicken rice and, of all things, durians.  We eat till we are stuffed, the last ikura pearls bursting in our mouths, then thank the bosslady, the man from Yokohama (and in my heart, the Universe, the morning, life) and full and finally flagging, start back for the hotel.


The air is colder and crisper than before.  In a briny haze, we tumble back into bed and in a sweet languor induced by full bellies, take a massive, fish fuelled nap."


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